The final week of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship involves creating a structure of life whereby we can progress to becoming more emotionally healthy. There is a similar need for those interested in creating emotionally healthy organizations. For an organization to embody a healthy culture, it is necessary to develop systems by which that emotional health is created, maintained, and improved.

This week’s blog is based on the following premises:

1. There cannot be emotionally healthy organizations without emotionally healthy leadership.
2. Leaders must first become emotionally healthy before instilling emotional health in their organizations.
3. Healthy leaders can create organizational structures that result in healthy teams and organizational culture.

Consequences of a Lack of Emotionally Healthy Leadership

Anyone with organizational experience has experienced emotionally immature and dysfunctional leadership and cultures. At some point, organizations can be so dysfunctional that their culture is toxic—harmful to everyone involved—leaders, followers, customers, stakeholders—everyone. In recent years, I have had the opportunity to study dysfunctional and toxic organizations. They have one common characteristic: emotionally unhealthy leadership.

It might be helpful for me to give some examples based on my experience as a lawyer and pastor over the years.

• Company X recently declared bankruptcy due to massive financial fraud. The court-appointed trustee announced that they had discovered considerable financial fraud involving many senior management members, much of which was ordered by the company’s president.
• Company Y just made a massive restatement of its financial results. It turns out that senior management instituted a bonus system that incentivized risk-taking among sales and trading personnel. Since bonuses were paid on current-year transactions, most of which would take years to pay out for the company, employees booked many unwise transactions. Senior management was also paid bonuses on the anticipated profits of current-year transactions. In fact, they designed the system.
• Company Z was just hit with a massive lawsuit alleging various forms of sexual harassment of female employees. As one magazine put it, the company has been famous for years for a kind of “fraternity boy” atmosphere. The Chairman and President were personally named in the litigation.
• Church A has just experienced a massive split and laid off many staff members. The Senior Pastor has become the subject of a sexual misconduct scandal. For years, the Board of Elders knew the pastor was ignoring his family, traveling with female employees, and working 70 or more hours weekly.
• Church B just lost an extremely effective discipleship pastor. His wife and family had been complaining about his schedule and many late-night meetings for some time. Finally, one of the children developed a serious addiction and rebellion. The pastor resigned to spend more time with his family.
• Non-Profit C has recently paid huge settlements due to misconduct charges against many volunteers. Some years ago, the non-profit changed its qualifications for adult leaders and its way of training them, lowering its standards under pressure from governments and special interest groups.

In these imaginary cases, and in many cases I have studied over the years, the fundamental failure was poor leadership, sometimes motivated by greed, lust, or desire for power and status. In other words, the problem was fundamentally a spiritual and moral problem created by spiritually and morally unhealthy leadership. In many cases, that leadership was never held accountable for what they did. In other cases, the accountability was insignificant compared to the social and monetary damage done by the leadership.

Healthy Organizations begin with Healthy Leaders.

Of course, emotionally unhealthy leaders are emotionally unhealthy people, which is why the past few weeks have focused on attaining and maintaining personal emotional health. Because none of us is completely emotionally healthy all the time and in every situation, emotionally healthy leaders embrace systems of self-care—regular habits of rest, recreation, retreat, self-examination, and other disciplines designed to maintain emotional health.

The concept of a “rule of life” or what might be called “a healthy structure for daily living” is simply a tool to enable people, and especially leaders, to attain and maintain emotional and spiritual health. For most people, including most Christians, our “rule of life” is not in writing. For example, it is nowhere written down that I will walk at least 8,000 steps a day and stretch three times a week, but I religiously do so. Before I knew anything about a rule of life, I did not usually work on Sundays, attended worship regularly, exercised, followed a healthy diet, avoided unhealthy behaviors, and many other elements of a wholesome lifestyle.

Nevertheless, there are real advantages to putting a rule or order for life in writing. For many years, I kept a long “to-do list.” Interestingly, most of the time, all the items on that list were accomplished. There is something about putting things in writing that encourages one to achieve them. Putting 72,000 sensible words on paper initially seems impossible when writing a book. In my list of things to do, I have a 1000-word-a-day target. Guess what?  If I write 1000 words daily, I will write a book draft in seventy-two days. When I fall behind, I do catch up. Having a rule or order of life has the same function: It reminds us what we intend to do and gives us a practical way of achieving our goal.

Good leaders have goals for their lives. Some things need to be done, and priorities that must be maintained. Peter Scazzero suggests the following priorities for Christians and their leaders:

• Relationship with God
• Relationship with Others (including family)
• Relationship with Self
• Relationship with Work [1]

A good order for life assures us that we are taking care of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual lives by attending to each area systematically and often daily. For example, if I spend at least 30 minutes a day in prayer and Bible study daily, and pray on at least two other occasions during the day, I will go a long way towards keeping my relationship with God in good order. If I set aside time daily for my spouse and children and prioritize that time, I will go a long way towards maintaining my family’s health. If I walk at least 6,000 steps a day and work out three times a week, I will go a long way towards maintaining my physical health.

Taking Emotional Health to the Workplace

Very few people work entirely alone. Most of us work in an organization where various groups join to reach a common goal. Within large and small organizations, there must be leaders who see that the work gets done and organizational goals are accomplished. One of the leader’s primary responsibilities is maintaining the workplace’s health to accomplish organizational goals.

In The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Pete Scazzero sets out some indications that an organization needs a more emotionally healthy approach to leadership:

• The organization and its leadership define success too narrowly (for example, profits only or membership numbers only).
• Plans are instituted without sufficient time, attention, energy, mediation, and prayer to determine their impact on stakeholders, i.e., management, employees, shareholders, contributors, customers, and others.
• The organization emphasizes performance standards that exceed human limits, so employees are constantly challenged to work longer, harder, and more intensively beyond their limits. The organization does not accurately understand its financial, personnel, and other limits. [2]

Conversely, an emotionally healthy organization has specific characteristics:

• Success is defined holistically with due consideration of the needs of all stakeholders.
• Planning is done with a clear understanding of its impact on all stakeholders.
• Planning is done in a way that is prudent and loving towards all stakeholders.
• The organization and its employees are encouraged to find ways to succeed within natural and other limits.
• The leadership and staff have clear, written covenants that define acceptable behavior and commitment to healthy goals and outcomes. [3]

Good Leaders build Healthy Teams.

Many books have been written about the impact of a healthy corporate culture on business and organizational performance. Few aspects of an organization influence its success more significantly over time than its culture. Consequently, wise leaders invest considerable time cultivating the best possible culture within their organization. This requires a slow process of working with people to see that they are transformed as they impact the organization’s culture. Here are some basic principles that can help in achieving that goal:

• Our primary goal is to impact human flourishing among our leadership, employees, clients, members, shareholders, partners, customers, etc.
• Success includes building teams of people with various backgrounds and abilities who can work together without fear, prejudice, or anxiety.
• Success includes caring about the emotional, moral, and physical health inside and outside the organization. [4]

Developing a Meditative Leadership and Organizational Culture

In another context, I have written about meditative leadership styles and cultures within organizations. [5] In our society, most corporations, especially large and successful for-profit companies, employ a “scientific, results-driven, measure-intensive style of leadership and corporate decision-making.” There is nothing wrong with any of this. In the churches I served, we had annual budgets and multi-year forecasts. But they resulted from deeper planning centered on the question, “What would God have us do next?”

In making decisions, we spent much time in prayer, meditation, and conversation trying to discern the ultimate impact of any decision on not just the group as a whole but as many individuals as possible within the whole. I have spent days in my office praying and listening to people as they described their hopes or fears related to decisions of importance. I believe that those days were important.

Using Scazzero’s work, a meditative style of leadership looks something like this:

• Leaders and team members define success as broadly as possible in planning and making decisions for Christians in the context of God’s will.
• Leaders and team members prepare their hearts for sound decision-making by taking time for prayer, meditation, and other spiritual preparation.
• Leaders and team members seek the most prudent and caring option in devising plans.
• Leaders and team members live within their limits, seek solutions to problems, and develop plans that allow everyone to succeed within limits.

Conclusion

This blog concludes this series related to Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and The Emotionally Healthy Leader. I have reviewed these books on more than one occasion and suggest reading and working through them for all Christian leaders. I also suggest congregations and intermediate church administrative bodies use this material with all pastors and church leaders. There is more to know about leadership than can be contained in any book or program, and Scazzero’s work only scratches the surface of servant leadership and meditative leadership. But his works are, in my view, must-reads.

Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved

[1] As mentioned previously, these blogs are based on Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), hereinafter EHL. See also Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Updated Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017). The Emotionally Healthy website is https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/. The materials needed to guide individuals through emotionally healthy discipleship training are available on the website and most Christian and secular online book retailers. The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and Relationship Courses are offered as the “Emotionally Healthy Disciples Course,” which includes books, study guides, teaching videos, devotional guides, and teaching aids. This list is slightly different from Scazzero’s, which I have simplified and secularized for this blog.

[2] EHL, 180-185.

[3] Id, 187-197. I have slightly changed Scazzero’s listing, which is centered on churches and non-profit ministries.

[4] Again, I have slightly changed Scazzero’s listing to apply his ideas more broadly.

[5] G. Christopher Scruggs, Letters to Leaders (Bay Village, OH: Bay Presbyterian Church, 2019).

For many years, I worked closely with not only one of the most successful church planters in my former denomination but also one of the most effective leaders. Dave Schieber had two qualities that never ceased to amaze me:

1. He could accept and love everyone just as they were, even if he knew their faults and shortcomings well.
2. In every situation, however busy, he could be entirely present for the person in front of him.

I’ve often shared stories about walking down the hallway with him on the way to a worship service, just a few minutes late, when someone approached us with a problem. Dave would immediately direct 100% of his attention to that person without hesitation, irritation, or distraction. This didn’t occur just once, but often enough for me to remember and internalize this quality.

Love and Leadership

It wasn’t until several years later, when I read The Emotionally Healthy Leader and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, that I realized Dave was instinctively in touch with one of the most essential spiritual qualities leaders can have: genuine empathy born of loving concern for the other. [1] For those of us who are introverted, or who may have been damaged in childhood and have difficulty connecting with people, this quality must be developed as a part of the broader task of achieving emotional health and the ability to lead people truly.

It doesn’t take a lot of experience in business, government, the church, or any other form of social organization to realize that many people who exercise leadership positions care about nothing but themselves. The fact that leaders struggle with narcissism has been well documented, perhaps too well documented. One reason why narcissistic leaders are tolerated, and even occasionally celebrated, comes from the mistake of equating the position of a person with the authentic leadership of a person. If all that matters is getting a position, then the person’s internal health doesn’t matter. However, if the accurate measure of leadership is the ability to love others and build an organization conducive to their flourishing, the character and spiritual development do matter.

Signs of Trouble—and the Solution

If we are honest, we can see signs that we may pay attention to, and they warn us that our leadership is not optimal. For example, in meetings, do I speak more than I listen? Do I get angry with those who don’t immediately grasp my thoughts? Am I able to talk about the truth to other people in a way that they know that I love them? Do I try to avoid unnecessary conflict? Do I sympathize with the weaknesses, failures, and misdeeds of others even when I can neither agree with them nor allow the behavior to continue? Am I continually comparing myself to others? Am I jealous when others succeed? All of these characteristics warn us that we are both emotionally immature and inclined toward self-centered narcissism.[2]

On the other hand, emotionally healthy leaders recognize, manage, and take control of their natural human tendencies toward narcissistic behaviors. They can respect and love other people unconditionally, and without the expectation that they will change as a result. They give people the opportunity to make mistakes and not be perfect. They appreciate people for who they are, with their strengths and weaknesses. Because they are deeply in touch with their emotional world, they can enter into the emotional world of other people. In other words, they are empathetic. In cases involving conflict, they can maintain their emotional self-control and resolve conflict maturely. [3]

Sitting behind this capacity to make decisions and maturely resolve conflict is the ability to enter other people’s emotional world. Scazzero puts it this way:

As emotionally mature Christian adults, we recognize that loving well is the essence of true spirituality. This requires that we experience connection with God, with ourselves, and with other people. God invites us to practice his presence in our daily lives. At the same time, he invites us “to practice the presence of people,” within an awareness of his presence, in our daily relationships. [4]

You can see why Dave Schieber has made such an impression on my life. He embodies the ability to maintain an awareness of God while being fully present to others.

Overcoming “I You” with “I Thou”

We human beings are inevitably self-centered. We have no choice but to see the universe, including others, from our center within ourselves. That center and our natural self-concern incline us to view other people as objects. The great Jewish theologian Martin Buber wrote a book entitled “I and Thou,” which I’ve had opportunities to talk about before, and which Pete Scazzero uses in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. [5] At the very heart of the I/Thou relationship is the ability to see another person, not as an object, but as a person to be accepted and loved as they are.[6]

Truly transformational leaders can see others not as objects but as individuals motivated and loved to accomplish tasks within their abilities, talents, and interests. Although we occasionally treat other people as objects (something every leader has experienced), the capacity to transcend a merely objective approach and love all human beings defines a truly transformational leader. In discussing this within the context of Christian spiritual formation, Scazzero provides an excellent graphic of two concentric circles: one representing my world and the other representing your world, with a sacred space between them. [7]

Conflict and the I-Thou Relationship

Every leader, sooner or later, must deal with conflict. It is a natural tendency to avoid such conflict. However, avoidance is not always a good strategy. If the conflict is inevitable, and a decision must be made where people disagree, there will inevitably be a type of conflict. A mature leader can accept the reality of that conflict and manage it without engaging in, minimizing, ignoring it, or settling for a false peace. [8]

Listen and Ask Questions. As a pastor, I’ve often marveled at how much conflict is merely the result of misunderstanding. Many times, I’ve experienced conflict in a board meeting where everyone was really saying the same thing using different words. This is where listening is essential. I don’t mean just superficially listening to the conversation while you’re doodling on your notepad. Instead, one must pay attention to the meaning behind the words used. Are people talking past each other?

Avoid Mind Reading. A second problem in dealing with conflict is our tendency to believe that we know what’s going on in other people’s minds. I find myself especially inclined to judge people’s motivations without knowing what they are. Based on my understanding of the person, I assume I know what motivates them. But people are infinitely complex. At any given time, a person may reveal a new aspect of their personality amid this conflict and understand that deeper motivation requires asking questions, listening to conversations, and engaging in a dialogue concerning the matter under discussion.

Clarify Expectations. People often have unrealistic or impossible expectations of how a conflict will be resolved. Much of the time, people want their side to win and the other side to lose. Unfortunately, this sets the organization up for failure and one party up for complete failure. A better approach is to motivate people to verbalize and own their expectations so that they can come to their own conclusions concerning how realistic their expectations are in achieving the desired result.

For example, I was once involved in a lengthy conversation about when worship services should be held and what their nature should be. The session unanimously agreed that they wanted the church to prosper and grow. Unfortunately, there were two differing perspectives on how that would happen. One group believed it would involve embracing contemporary worship, while the other thought it should focus on continuing the traditional worship we enjoyed. Most importantly, many people felt attached to the worship time they were currently experiencing. It took considerable time for everyone to understand their motivations and recognize where they needed to adjust their perspectives in order for the group to prosper. Interestingly, the solution finally chosen was not the one that I and the other pastors desired; however, it worked marvelously.

Conclusion

This week, Christians celebrated Easter Sunday. This year, Kathy and I were priviledged to celebrate Easter in a new way, from Maundy Thursday and the Last Supper, with its emphasis on Christ giving his life for his disciples and the footwashing seen in John, both of which celebrate the servant leadership of Christ, to his crucifixion, death, and burial on Friday, to his descent into Hell while in the Tomb on Saturday, to his glorious resurrection, which we celebrated just after midnight on Sunday morning. The various Easter Vigil liturgies are one constant reminder of the true nature of God, and the true nature of Christian leadership, all of which is summarized with the words, “Greater love has no one than this: that he give up his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

There can be no Christian maturity without self-giving love—and there can be no Christian leadership without cross bearing. This is why Jesus told his disciples, who would share the gospel to the ends of the earth, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).Leaders, of all people, must be cross-bearing lovers of those they lead.

Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved

[1] As mentioned previously, these blogs are based on Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), hereinafter EHL. See also Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). Emotionally Healthy Spirituality,Updated Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017). The Emotionally Healthy website is https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/. The materials needed to guide individuals through emotionally healthy discipleship training are available on the website and most Christian and secular online book retailers. The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and Relationship Courses are offered as the “Emotionally Healthy Disciples Course,” which includes books, study guides, teaching videos, devotional guides, and teaching aids.

[2] EHS, 167-168.

[3] EHS, 169-170.

[4] Id, at 170.

[5] Id, at 172, see Martin Buber, I and Thou (New York, NY: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1958).

[6] Buber, 14-15.

 ⁷ EHS, 171-172. If I were to prepare a similar graphic, I would depict the two worlds overlapping in the I-Thou relationship, indicating the true entry of the I into the being of the Other.

[8] EHS, 172-175.

For the next several weeks, we’ll discuss developing a leadership lifestyle conducive to wise and loving leadership. In our Emotionally Healthy Spirituality course, Kathy and I must take time to do devotionals twice a day, incorporating times of silence during each pause. We’ve taken the course before, but for some reason, the silence has become a central feature this time. Additionally, Kathy and I decided to regularize our Sabbath habits in preparation for leading the course. It has also been a pleasant and transformative experience.

Many years ago, I preached a sermon on the Ten Commandments. When we got to quotes,

“Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy,” I observed that this was the only commandment among the Ten Commandments that almost anyone could violate at will, and no one would think less of them for doing so. If this observation was accurate thirty years ago, it is even more accurate today. Unfortunately, the advent of the Internet and working from home has made it even easier for people to ignore sustained periods of rest and recreation. (Notice I said rest and re-creation, not recreation.)

For most of my professional career, I worked in occupations that demanded long hours. When I practiced law, it was customary for everyone to work on Saturday and high performers to work on Sunday as well. That meant we did some work seven days a week, fifty or so weeks a year. The only difference between me and the highest performers in the firms was that I was a Christian and did not work on Sunday unless a client demanded it.

When I became a pastor, I continued this “work ethic,” completely unaware that what I termed a work ethic was actually workaholism. Our marriage, our children, our social relationships, and even my physical health, especially toward the end, paid a price. As I mentioned last week, it was only late in my professional career that I seriously acknowledged the need to slow down. As everyone will see as this blog unfolds, I believe the spiritual necessity for a Sabbath applies not only to Christians and Jews but to everyone else. We are all mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual beings. Therefore, we all need time for rest and recharging.

A Rhythm for Life

Many people take time to rest. Many individuals practice mindfulness, which helps them center themselves during certain periods of the day. In Christian circles, we typically refer to this as “quiet time.” Quiet time is a period, usually in the morning, dedicated to prayer, Bible study, and perhaps some meditation. For many years, this quiet time lasted between fifteen and twenty minutes and primarily involved Bible study. In later years, I began to include a more significant prayer component, praying for needs beyond our immediate family. It was only after the turn of the century that I started practicing a form of silent prayer. Unfortunately, like many others, I struggled to maintain this discipline.

In Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Peter Scazzero suggests an alternative to the inadequacies of quiet time.[1] He suggests that Christians, including evangelical Christians, rediscover Sabbath-keeping and some ancient practices of the Roman, Anglican, and Eastern Orthodox churches, particularly the Daily Office. Before discussing both, it’s essential to make a point: The purpose of rediscovering the Sabbath-keeping and the ancient Daily Offices is not to create a new legalism but to help Christians and Christian leaders develop a healthy rhythm of life.

In keeping with the purpose of these blogs, I would say that discussing Sabbath keeping and the daily office for secular people involves encouraging everyone to reach into the Christian and other traditions to find ways for them to create a balanced rhythm of life conducive to their health and wholeness, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

What is a Sabbath?

I’m afraid to admit it, but during my entire Christian life until recently, I took at most one day off. During that day off, I had to mow the lawn during the spring and summer until the grass went dormant. I had to do certain chores around the house. I had to do things like balance a checkbook. Ultimately, my “Sabbath” was simply a day when I did work for which I wasn’t paid. It wasn’t until I read The Emotionally Healthy Leader that I realized I had not been keeping a Sabbath at all!

Being a pastor, I usually took off Fridays and part of Saturday afternoons before I had to begin working on the sermon for the final time. A good bit of the time, my Thursday, the time I usually prepared sermons, was interrupted by meetings. Therefore, it was not unusual for me to write sermons on Friday. For a good bit of the time, I would go into the office to do this. Once the children ran out of the house, at least I would stay home. But I wasn’t enjoying a Sabbath.

Scazzero defines a “biblical Sabbath” as a 24-hour block of time during which we stop work, enjoy rest, practice, delight, and contemplate God.[2] Notice that a biblical Sabbath is not merely a time when we don’t go to the office. It’s not just a time when we refrain from our daily responsibilities. It’s a time to focus on God and enjoy His presence.

Genesis tells us that God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day, He rested (Genesis 2:2). Many scholars, including Scazzero, note that the Sabbath is the unique contribution of the Jewish people to the world’s civilizations. They were the first to observe a day of rest, devoted not to transient pursuits but to ultimate truths. Our world needs to reclaim this practice because we are wholly dedicated to material and fleeting things, rarely taking time to ponder eternal matters. Christians, Jews, and every other type of human being can benefit from setting aside time to reflect beyond the present and the immediate demands of our lives.

For Christians and Jews, the Sabbath holds a deeper purpose. By taking a day off, we acknowledge that we are not ultimately in control of our lives, our successes and failures, our prosperity or lack thereof, or any other aspect of our existence. Whatever control we have achieved through our work, great or small, remains limited compared to the vast forces of chaos that can and do periodically disrupt our lives. Much of the frenetic busyness of our society could be alleviated if we would just stop once a week and meditate.

Four simple principles underline a good sabbath:

1. Stop working and rest
2. Delight in things like Sabbath meals, enjoying nature, worshiping God, etc.
3. Meditate on ultimate things. [3]

There are many ways that Christians can organize their Sabbath, but these are the main components of a good Sabbath habit. Notice that, if possible, there needs to be an additional day off when we conduct business for which we are not paid.

A Daily Rhythm of Life

Some years ago, while still employed as an evangelical pastor, I had the opportunity to spend a week at a monastery near Atlanta, Georgia. It was one of several opportunities I took to retreat in monasteries and retreat houses. For evangelicals, this may seem like an odd thing to do. However, one cannot live in a monastery with the rhythm of the daily offices, most of which involve reading scripture and liturgy based upon scripture, without recognizing that modern society, and even modern evangelical Christian Society, often mischaracterizes the monastic life.

The purpose of the monastic life was to create an order or rhythm of life through which members of the order could order their lives around the ultimate. They still worked, most of them with their hands, raising crops, cooking food, cleaning, and taking care of the common life of the monastery. Only a very few were involved in leadership. Even fewer were involved in scholarships. The purpose was to order their lives as an example to the world of how it might be organized peacefully and conducive to human flourishing.

The Daily Offices consist of a structured sequence of prayers, readings of the Psalms, Bible readings, canticles, and the Lord’s Prayer. The entire Psalter is read over time.  For priests and monastics, seven daily offices have developed: Matins, Prime, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers, and Compline. St. Benedict’s Rule (ca. 540) establishes a common pattern:  Nocturns and Lauds (midnight), Prime (6:00 AM), Terce (9:00 AM), Sext (noon), Nones (3:00 PM), Vespers (sunset), and Compline (before bed). [4] In the Anglican tradition, morning and evening prayer have persisted as part of the Book of Common Prayer across all Anglican groups.

In his books, Peter Scazzero suggests that lay people attempt to create two or three times of prayer and silence consistent with the ancient daily office. The most common of these would be morning, noon, and evening. In the courses he developed, there are two periods of time involving a short Bible reading, a meditation, a time of prayer, and silence.[5]

Conclusion

Over the next three weeks or so, I will have additional opportunities to describe what a rule of life, or “order of life for human flourishing,” might look like. Modern life, especially modern American life, is relentlessly busy, acquisitive, and hedonistic. Taking time to step away from the pressure to conform to our culture’s demands allows one to rest, gain perspective, and flourish mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. For Christians, this is important, and the Christian tradition provides many examples that help deepen and nurture our growth. Other religious traditions offer their own examples and support. Even in the secular world, we can find examples and guidance in the pursuit of a more balanced and healthy life. Each of us must begin the journey in whatever way we feel called. As a Christian, I do not desire to do more than encourage people to step out in the search for a more emotionally healthy spirituality and lifestyle.

Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved

[1] As mentioned previously, these blogs are based on Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), hereinafter EHL. See also Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). Emotionally Healthy Spirituality,Updated Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017). The Emotionally Healthy website is https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/. The materials needed to guide individuals through emotionally healthy discipleship training are available on the website and most Christian and secular online book retailers. The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and Relationship Courses are offered as the “Emotionally Healthy Disciples Course,” which includes books, study guides, teaching videos, devotional guides, and teaching aids.

 

[2] EHL, 144.

[3] EHS, 134-160.

[4] The Episcopal Parish of st. John the Evangelist, “Praying the Daily Office,” https://www.stjohns-hingham.org/praying-the-daily-office(downloaded, April 12, 2025). There are many other introductions to be found online and in books.

[5] These are found in the two devotionals accompanying  Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and Emotionally Healthy Relationships.

At the root of this week’s blog is the importance of leaders understanding their limits. We all have physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limitations. Some of us may have higher limits, different or more socially acceptable limits, but we all have limits. As we grow older, these limits become more evident in our lives. [1]

Pete Scazzero begins his discussion of the importance of limits in a chapter devoted to enlarging your soul through grief and loss. Our culture doesn’t like losses. It doesn’t like defeats. It doesn’t like failure. This is actually somewhat enterprising. If you ask highly successful people about the most important contributors to their successes, many of them will answer, “My defeats.” Many people will say that their limitations or defects were instrumental in their success.

When I was younger, I was a debater. As a debater, I paid special attention to great orators. In the 20^th century, there was no greater orator than Winston Churchill. Churchill had a speech impediment. His remarkable ability to communicate and lead the British people through the Second World War began with overcoming a physical limitation—a speech impediment. The same might be said of Theodore Roosevelt, a sickly child. His great physical and mental energy and stamina were cultivated by overcoming his limitations. Limitations are an essential source of success. Every child should be taught this truth: Your limitations may lead to success.

On the other hand, those who push the limits of their personality- whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual- risk burnout and failure. I’ve always admired people who can thrive on little sleep; however, I’ve realized that I need eight hours to function well. As I’ve aged, I continue to respect those with remarkable physical vitality who can run marathons, walk thirty-six holes on a golf course in a single day, or play tennis almost as well as they did at thirty. Unfortunately, I cannot.  As a manager, I’ve always looked up to those with extroverted personalities and abundant emotional reserves who can constantly interact with people without burning out. Sadly, I am sometimes introverted, and my emotional reserves depend on spending time alone.

When leaders ignore their limits, they almost always engage in some form of dysfunctional behavior. They deny their weaknesses, rationalize failure, and numb the pain with sex, drugs, alcohol, or, more commonly, workaholism. They avoid discussing or confronting their limitations. One of the most prevalent ways we dysfunctionally cope with our limits is by ignoring our emotions, particularly those related to grief or loss.

Job as an Emotionally Healthy Leader

In Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, the author uses Job from the Bible to discuss the importance of experiencing grief and loss. [2] The story of Job is particularly intriguing. [3]He was one of the most successful leaders of his time and extremely wealthy, making him a prominent figure in business. Job earned great respect in his community, establishing himself as a significant political leader. He led a large and prosperous family, solidifying his role as a family leader. In the ancient world, Job was highly respected and successful.

Then, in a single day, for clearly unjust reasons, Job loses everything. His wealth is stripped away. He becomes an outcast from the community. His family is shattered. He is left alone and vulnerable. For incomprehensible reasons, God allows Satan to ruin Job’s family and life.

One humorous thing about Job’s character has to do with the way the unknowing repeatedly refers to him as having great patience and acceptance of this condition. Even the book’s most casual reading of Job proves this false. Job constantly complains to God and his friends about his condition. In other words, Joe doesn’t deny his pain, grief, and loss. He doesn’t push it down out of his consciousness where it works in his unconscious. He owns his feelings of grief, loss, and injustice. Job turns out to be an emotionally healthy person and leader. He can maintain his integrity under the most challenging situation imaginable.

Amid his suffering and loss, Job avoids the standard methods we use to evade grief and loss. He doesn’t deny his pain or minimize it. He avoids blaming anyone else for his pain, nor does he blame himself. He maintains his innocence throughout the book. He doesn’t rationalize or intellectualize his suffering, and he doesn’t claim, ” God will make this all work out for the good.” Additionally, he doesn’t distract himself from his pain with alcohol or drugs, nor does he change the subject or divert the conversation. He doesn’t become hostile; instead, he argues with his friends, expressing that he believes they are mistaken in their interpretation of his condition (they think he’s a sinner), yet he doesn’t sever ties with them out of anger.

Owning Our Grief, Loss, and Limits

Job provides a vivid example of how we can confront our own mortality, loss, and other emotions. First of all, Job is aware of what he is feeling. In other words, he pays attention to his emotions. He does not give up as he waits for God to respond to his complaint. He doesn’t stop expressing discontent about his situation. However, he also doesn’t abandon his friends, deny God, or entirely avoid the situation. He waits.

Beyond the story of Job, we can all learn to embrace our limits. We all inherit limits from our family of origin. We have physical, emotional, and mental limits built into our genetics. Additionally, we carry emotional baggage from our childhood, some of which may never be overcome in this world. For those of us who are married, our marital status limits what we can or cannot do. For example, those of us who are married cannot prioritize our wives and children if we wish to maintain leadership positions. We all have only so much time, so much giftedness, so much intellectual capacity, and so much money. We must live within the limits of who we are.

Becoming a Humble Servant Leader

Last week, I mentioned that, contrary to the media (which constantly portrays leaders as self-assured, prideful activists), studies show that the most humble leaders actually create the healthiest organizations and, in business, generate the greatest profits for their shareholders. This is especially true for religious leaders. If you remember, Moses was described as “… a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth” (Numbers 12:3). Jesus in the New Testament is proclaimed the new Moses. The Beatitudes describe the significance of living with humility within human limits (Matthew 5:3-11).

Above all, living within our limits and acknowledging our failures and shortcomings are constant reminders of our humanity and frailty, showing how much we are like those we lead. Our limits, failures, shortcomings, and griefs are signs of our shared humanity. If we avoid them, we deny our humanity; if we embrace them, we become more fully human and better equipped for leadership. We can identify with others compassionately and wisely.

Slowing Down to Live Within Our Limits

During most of my years in active leadership, I was a poster child for what I call overperformance. Overperformance occurs when we regularly operate at a level inconsistent with our physical, emotional, social, and mental limits. I often share the following story. I became aware of my limits fairly late in my career when I was over 50. Throughout my life, I’ve been blessed with good physical energy and the ability to work long hours. One Thursday night, about twenty years ago, I finished a meeting about our new building campaign. The meeting lasted until 9 p.m. It had been a hectic day filled with meetings about the project, and I hadn’t had a chance to work on the sermon, which I usually write on Thursdays. Therefore, I returned to my office after an 18-hour day and sat down to begin writing. About a paragraph into the sermon for the week, I realized I couldn’t continue. I had hit a limit.

Interestingly, this awareness of my limits helps me better understand how often I’ve overperformed. Most of the mistakes I’ve made in ministry, law, and business occurred under pressure when I was overperforming. Amid a crisis, pressured by events, and exhausted from overwork, I made decisions. Unfortunately, they were wrong.

I became more aware of this phenomenon and began changing my work habits. I started to spend more time at home in the mornings for prayer. I purposefully devoted more time to our family. (At that time, we only had one child left at home. I had already harmed our family concerning the older children.) I sought to overcome the consequences of constant overwork. I made a conscious effort to ensure I did not neglect the need for a Sabbath time. (Working when I should be spending time with God remains a problem occasionally.)

Signs of Living Outside Your Limits

In his book, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Pete Scazzero provides a helpful list of signs indicating leaders are living outside their limits. We are almost certainly living outside our limits if we:

• Constantly feeling we have too much to do and too little time
• Are always in a hurry
• Continually make snap judgments and give quick opinions
• Are overly concerned with what others think
• Are routinely preoccupied and distracted
• Are consistently ignoring stress, anxiety, and other physical symptoms
• Spend more time talking than listening. [4]

I’m sure anyone with leadership experience could add to this list. You are overperforming and failing to live within your limits if you’re constantly exhausted, feel hopeless, sense failure no matter how much you accomplish, and are easily irritated by others. The list could go on and on. The point is that we all exhibit dysfunctional symptoms when living beyond our limits and failing to be the people we are called to be.

The Price of Over Functioning

There are many significant dangers to failing to live within our limits and constantly overfunctioning. The most important of these is that we distort our personalities, deny the very individuals we were meant to be, and miss the joy of being fully human. Along the way, we hurt others: our families, our businesses, the organizations we lead, our churches, our employees, and our stakeholders. We harm everyone around us.

I think I probably mentioned this in a past blog, but many years ago, one of my best elders retired after many years with a company. We were talking about what she learned in retirement, and I was pondering retiring myself at the time. I will never forget what she told me: “It’s been very interesting. Not one person has mentioned a deal we closed together. Not one person has mentioned a bonus we received for outstanding work. Not one person has mentioned a division we managed together. Everyone mentioned some personal act of kindness and love. Over thirty years of work, I paid a little attention to this, but in the end, it was the most important thing of all.”

Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved 

[1] As mentioned previously, these blogs are based on Peter Scazzero The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), hereinafter EHL. See also Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Updated Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017). The Emotionally Healthy website is https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/. The materials needed to guide individuals through emotionally healthy discipleship training are available on the website and most Christian and secular online book retailers. The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and Relationship Courses are offered as the “Emotionally Healthy Disciples Course,” which includes books, study guides, teaching videos, devotional guides, and teaching aids.

[2] Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, 119-120.

[3] See G. Christopher Scruggs, Path of Life: The Way of Wisdom for Christ-Followers (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, (2014), 179-882

[4] The Emotionally Healthy Leader, 127.

I am just over halfway through a series of blogs on leadership. In order to write this series in coordination with a teaching obligation that Kathy and I have undertaken, I’ve had to pause a series of blogs on spiritual warfare and the theology of the Methodist theologian Walter Wink. I intend to return to Wink sometime in May and continue until I have completed my review of his work. His work is relevant to more than one project I’m currently working on.

As my friends know, I’ve written a series of books on theology, leadership, and philosophy and two novels, Marshland and Peace at Battle Mountain. I’m currently a bit more than halfway through the last installment of what I call the Arthur Stone novels. I began these novels hoping to communicate something of the mystery of Christian faith to a broader audience than Christian believers. The novels follow the career of a young lawyer, Arthur Stone, and his wife, Gwynn, from near the beginning of his career in the 1980s until around 2015.

Each of these novels features a murder, an economic crime, a financial collapse, and the ensuing litigation that typically arises from such events. However, behind the scenes, there lies the mystical reality of a world beyond our material existence, a world that interacts with and connects to our own in mysterious ways.

The first novel delves into a murder during the Texas savings and loan crisis, exploring faith from a spiritual perspective. The second novel centers on the period surrounding the collapse of Enron, WorldCom, and other companies during the financial crisis around 2000, addressing love from a spiritual perspective. The final book, set in 2013, discusses the aftermath of the great financial collapse of 2008, focusing on hope from a spiritual perspective.

At the end of Peace at Battle Mountain, one of the characters has a dream:

He remembered his failures and infidelities. He saw all the people he had used and hurt before his injuries—and some since. He remembered his wife’s desertion during his illness. He remembered his inner healing through Eleanor’s love. He remembered their love, and he missed her. He remembered his loneliness and saw the loneliness extending out into the future.

What is the purpose of it? What is the purpose of all this struggle? What is the purpose of all this failure and loss? What is the purpose of it all, even my success? In the end, does it mean nothing? What is the purpose of it all?

The figure in his dream began to speak.

“The purpose is not in history or events. For better or for worse, the meaning is in what humans make of it. Human history and human lives are stages upon which the play of life is set. I have set the stage. It is for you to create its meaning. The stage is not the meaning of the play. The meaning of the play is the life of the characters. Yet, life is not ‘sound and fury, signifying nothing.’ The deepest meaning is the love you share and the meaning it gives. That is the only meaning. The only thing that abides forever is love, for love is what I Am, and no love is ever lost in Me.”

Then, in his dream, Roger saw his life as it was played out in the second half of the 20th century. He saw all of the events of that history. He saw the wars. He saw the death of so many innocent young people in those wars, some for little or no reason at all. He saw the political intrigues and the victory of corruption and decay. In his vision, he saw all the economic booms and busts of his business life, past and future. He saw the end of Winchester & Wells, to which he had given his life. He saw the victory of fools and the defeat of the wise.”

“In his dream, he saw the innocent’s corruption and the unexpected salvation of the corrupt. He saw all the marriages that begin with the fiery anticipation of youth and their end in disillusionment and divorce. He saw all the families starting in hope, ending with hope fulfilled or the end of hope. He saw the endless, impossible-to-understand foolishness and suffering of humanity. He saw in his dream all the seemingly meaningless chaos of history.

Above it all, he saw a figure, bloody from the lash, bruised by beatings, and pierced by nails. He saw that figure looking down upon him in sadness and pain. He felt the vulnerable, suffering love of that figure freely given, sharing itself with the world, and the figure drawing into himself all the pain, all the loss, all the destruction, all the decay, and death of the world from its foundation. He saw the vulnerability and suffering of the One who shared in all life’s meaninglessness and drew it into himself. He saw himself sharing with the sufferer in his suffering.

“Then, in a moment, he saw the figure of his dream transformed into light, a beam of light having the shape of a heart. He saw himself transformed into a version of that light.

Roger Romny awoke. It was morning, the sky was clear, and the day was warm. It was time to go to the office. His dream and its meaning could wait.” [1]

The dream of Roger Romny is meant to communicate the truth of which the Apostle Paul speaks:

Kathy and I have recently been reflecting on and attempting to address a challenging situation with wisdom and love. It has reminded me that love is not merely the key to human relations; it is the key to all relationships in which we human beings are involved, including institutional ones. The problem, of course, is determining how to infuse love into our politics, economics, business, non-profits, and similar domains.

Copyright 2024, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved

[1] Peace at Battle Mountain (Hunt, Texas: Quansus, 2024), 328-329