Eternal God: You are beyond our words and our understanding, yet have revealed yourself to us in Holy Scripture and in the person of Your Beloved Son, Jesus the Christ. Come by the power of Your Spirit this morning that we might be filled with a desire to listen to Your voice and live according to Your leading, even at the price of taking time out from our busy activities to await Your coming in silence, solitude, and prayer. This we ask in your Precious Name. Amen.
A Pausing our Busyness
When I was doing my doctorate, I was asked to read a little book by Robert Benson, a writer from Nashville, titled “Living Prayer.” [1] It is the story of one man’s journey into a life formed by prayer, silence and solitude. Benson is a Christian, though not a religious professional. I have used a quote from his book as the meditation for the day: “We take our place in the race and watch our lives disappear in the daily grind. We rush through the present toward some future that is supposed to be better, but generally turns out only to be busier”. [2] For Robert Benson, the realization that he was not centered in God in his day-to-day life was the beginning of an adventure, a spiritual adventure of learning to live his life around habits of prayer, silence, and solitude.
This Advent season, Kathy and I are focusing our attention on listening for God. Both of us are relentlessly busy and active people, and slowing down to hear God does not come naturally. But, after eight weeks of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship and its constant reminder that what is most needed in contemporary American life is a “slowed down spirituality,” we decided to spend the next four weeks being more contemplative.[3]
Most of us live busy lives, with jobs, spouses, children, schools, after school activities, parents and the like for which we must care. This is important, for as our mission statement reminds us, we exist to share God’s love with others as we have seen it in Jesus Christ. There is, however, a trap in all this activity. If we are not careful, what begins as a well-intentioned sharing of God’s love by supporting our families and caring for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs becomes just another activity or group of activities without a meaningful center in God or God’s will for our lives and theirs.
It is important to live an active Christian life by demonstrating God’s wisdom and love to others in practical, everyday ways. However, it is also crucial to take time to pause, meditate, and reflect on God and His will, so that we can be drawn more deeply into His heart and become more of who God wants us to be. The ancient Jews waited nearly 500 years for their Messiah—500 years of prayer and silence. During Advent, we begin by remembering the patient waiting of God’s people.
Christmas is Busy and Our Lives are Busy
I want to start with just one verse from Mark: “When it was early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus went off to a solitary place to pray” (Mark 1:35). For those unfamiliar with Mark, the first chapter shows a busy series of activities by Jesus. Then, he takes time to pray. Jesus made time to pray even on the busiest days. If Jesus could find time to pray, this Christmas, maybe we can too.
I know Christian pastors who dread the arrival of Christmas. There are so many activities and services that we often lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas—and gradually disconnect from the Divine Love that brings the joy of the season. Interestingly, I’ve also spoken with laypeople who feel the same way from time to time. During one Christmas season, I was visiting a member who had been caught up in a continuous stream of busy days and nights leading up to the holidays. He was completely exhausted by the time Christmas arrived.
For most of us, our busy Christmases reflect our busy lives. Robert Benson expresses this in his book:
Our work has become almost everything to us. Our lives are built around it, and the fruits of it. Productivity, success, and efficiency have become the watchwords of the day. It is no wonder that our days seem very often to be devoid of meaning. At best, they are built around about a fourth of who we are. It is not necessarily the work itself that is killing us; it is the way we give it such meaning and power and control over our lives. [4]
One reason I chose to leave the practice of law was a growing sense that I was merely going through the motions, and that much of what I was doing was often more or less meaningless. I often tell a story about a day in Washington, D.C., when I was negotiating a transaction for a client. We had been working endless days and nights on this deal. One morning, we debated a very abstract point of merger law, and the discussion had gone on for a very long time. Suddenly, I realized it really did not matter who won the debate. That made me think: “I am spending twelve hours a day, nights, and weekends on things that might not matter at all in the grand scheme of things.” My life had become a never-ending cycle of meaningless activity.
Now, don’t get me wrong: our customers and clients matter. Contracts matter. Doing our best matters. Serving people matters. The point is that sometimes we focus on all the little things that matter to the exclusion of the things that truly matter most.
It is comforting to know that Jesus was busy too. In the first chapter of his gospel, Mark records Jesus’s activities from his baptism until the verses I read just a moment ago. In the first chapter of Mark, Jesus is depicted as constantly active. Once he was baptized in the Jordan River and began his public ministry, Jesus chose his disciples and started teaching, preaching, casting out demons, and healing the sick. If we read the Gospels carefully, we see Jesus continually busy with the Father’s work.
Now, the kinds of things Jesus did might differ from what you and I do, but the same issues could have occurred in Jesus’s life as occur in ours: He might have just been doing things. Jesus could have ended up like many people in caring professions in our country—burned out from doing good. The reality is that, as many studies have shown, caring professionals are especially at risk of burnout. Pastors are leaving the ministry at unprecedented rates. Jesus did not burn out because He took time to maintain His connection with God the Father.
Time for Prayer and Rest
If we want balanced lives, we need to make time to think, pray, plan, and be silent alone with God. This is how we grow close to God and not just do good things, but do what God truly desires. We can learn from how Jesus maintained a life of constant loving activity. Jesus took time for silence, solitude, prayer, and reflection. The key to Jesus’ activity is found in moments of stillness. His ability to do God’s will depends on the time he spent alone in prayer. Jesus understood that while activity is important, it is even more crucial to do the right things at the right times. Often, good is the enemy of the best, and those who do too much too often miss out on the best that God offers and only experience the good.
Taking Time to Listen
For just a few moments, I want to suggest some things we can all do to ensure we are doing what God wants us to do and avoid just busywork that leads to burnout. I want to divide these into daily times of silence, solitude, and prayer; weekly times of silence, solitude, and prayer; and less frequent but still critical times of silence, solitude, and prayer.
First, all of us need daily times of silence, solitude, and prayer. We need to take time out daily to think, to pray, to be quiet and to recharge our batteries. This can and should involve some kind of morning quiet time, but it also needs to involve other times during the day when we stop doing and take time to just be. In particular, at the end of each day, we need to take stock or what we have done and left undone. An Episcopalian named John McQuiston has written a book, Always We Begin Again, which many people have found useful. [5] In his book, McQuiston takes the Rule of St. Benedict and creates a kind of order for living that he uses in his profession and that others in our congregation find useful. However we do it, we need to find ways to create a balanced life.
Second, we need accountability. Then, weekly, we need to find time to pray and hold ourselves accountable. Several of the men in one of my congregations met at 8:30 every Saturday morning to share our lives and pray. Most of those meetings consisted of sharing experiences of worship, daily devotional study, experiencing Christ personally, and acting as Christ’s hands and feet in the community. [6] Our group happened to be a Reunion Group, but there are many, many different ways for one, two or a few people to get together and share their lives briefly each week. This can be done as a couple, as a two men or women meeting together, or in slightly larger groups. These kinds of groups should not be too large or the time commitment to share deeply gets to be too great.
Third, we need some time in solitude and reflection. Once or twice a year, we need to take time out to be silent, to be alone, to pray and think about where we are going in the year to come. If you are fortunate, you have a place to go for solitude. However, it can be as simple as walking into your bedroom and shutting the door. In a few weeks, most of us will have a bit of time to celebrate the coming of a New Year. This is a good time to take a few moments or hours, turn off the electronic media and take stock of where we have been in the year past and where we are going in the year to come. Perhaps one of the benefits of doing this for just a few moments in a quiet room will be to convince some of us that we need to take more time to think, listen and to pray and grow closer to God.
During my time in ministry, I aimed to take a solitary retreat for at least three days each year—and most years I managed to do so. Usually, I visited a retreat center where I could have three meals, a place to sleep, and areas for prayer. Toward the end of my professional career, my annual retreat was often held at a Catholic retreat center near where our family used to spend the holidays. I found that Thanksgiving week was the best time in my schedule.
Conclusion
One year, on December 7th (my father’s birthday and Pearl Harbor remembrance day), during one of the busiest periods at our church, I went on a two-day silent retreat. Although we are all busy, much of what we do is busy work. So, when I was asked to attend this retreat, I decided to go away just to gain some perspective on Christmas, the church, where Advent might need to head in the next year, and what Chris needed to do in the upcoming year. This was not the first silent retreat I’ve attended—and I hope it will not be the last.
I committed to this weeks ago, and it didn’t get any easier as the retreat day approached. (I also had to tolerate teasing from the staff, who doubted I could stay quiet that long.) The goal was to find a place where the phone didn’t ring, where email and texts weren’t accessible, and where DirecTV was unavailable. Then, after disconnecting from all the noise that surrounds us most of the time, I was to listen for God. Although I’ve brought books on retreats before, I try to limit myself to a Bible and my journal because all I wanted was to spend a couple of days listening for God, listening for that still small voice we can’t hear if we are surrounded by sound and information.
The point was not to become a monk. I had no intention of becoming a monk. The point was not to ignore my family. I had every intention of returning home in time to take care of those responsibilities. The point was not to ignore the needs of the church. In fact, I was back in time to prepare for a Sunday service and teach a Bible study. The point was not to ignore the needs of the world around us. The point was to grow closer to God to be sure that we do those things in the right way.
I sincerely hope that everyone reading this blog has a wonderful Advent season. Additionally, I wish that everyone will take a few moments this holiday season to be silent, listen, pray, reflect, and sense God’s will for you in the coming year, so we can start the new year in just the right way.
God bless you all.
Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved
[1] Robert Benson, Living Prayer (New York: NY: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam, 1998).
[2] Id, at 71.
[3] Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). See also, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and World(Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017).
[4] Id, 72.
[5] John McQuiston, II, Always We Begin Again: The Benedictine Way of Living (Harrisburg, VA: Morehouse Publishing, 1996). The Rule of St. Benedict is the most common monastic rule. Benedict structured the lives of his followers around times of worship, listening to Scripture, silence and work. Although modern folks may think of the rule as somewhat restrictive, what made the Rule attractive in the beginning was its modest, Biblical center. Recently, many protestant groups have seen Benedict’s rule as helpful to guide lay people to discern a way to structure their own lives in a more spiritual way.
[6] Order of Reunion Group, Madisonville, KY: Lampstand Ministries, 1992. The Order of Reunion Group is a designed as a follow up to what at Advent we call the Great Banquet, which is like the Presbyterian and Catholic Cursillo and the Methodist Emmaus Walk. It is a three day retreat during which people here fifteen talks on the Christian life, mostly given by lay persons.