When I was a young Christian, I was fortunate to have a very good friend who was in the construction business. In fact, his company was one of the finest construction firms in Houston. We used to go to lunch about once a month. He would describe to me some of the projects he was working on. One of the things I came to understand is how important the foundation and the structure of a building, which hardly anyone sees, are to its success. If a building lacks a good foundation and its structural steel is insufficient or poorly designed, builders say it lacks integrity. That is, when pressure is put upon the building, it might fail.

And came from a family well known in Houston, active in a local church, and, for generations, had provided leadership in the construction business. Their buildings were known to be well-built and likely to last. The family and their buildings had integrity.

Meaning of Integrity

The word integrity evolved from the Latin adjective “integer,” meaning whole or complete. It is defined as ‘an undivided or unbroken completeness’, or ‘a state of being full or whole. In construction, it conveys being well-built. In mathematics, integers are whole numbers. In banking, it concerns the ongoing value of collateral held for a loan. In professions, it involves following the ethical guidelines of the profession in question. For example, in medicine, a doctor with integrity does not harm the patient. In ethics, it has to do with having a kind of virtue that can withstand pressures to compromise one’s values.

In our continuing study of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, this week, the discipline was “Climbing the Ladder of Integrity. In other words, integrity is a habit that we develop, and we develop it by gradually increasing our capacity to live in accordance with our underlying values and, for Christians, the values of Christ.

Barriers to Integrity

Everyday life presents barriers or threats to living with integrity. We all face pressure to compromise, and from time to time, we do compromise our core values. Sometimes, we have good and valid reasons for doing so; other times, we do not. The main obstacle to maintaining integrity is our lack of awareness about what our true values are. In daily life, we can lose sight of who we are, what we aim to achieve, and our fundamental goals. Climbing the ladder of integrity helps us remember our true selves and what we truly value.

The False Self. One key concept for developing our integrity is understanding the difference between our true self and our false self. Our true self is who we really are, embracing our true values. Our false self is a projected identity that tries to present an external but false version of ourselves to the world. For example, I spent many years as a lawyer. In law, it helps to be strong and tough in negotiations. But fundamentally, that’s not who I am. I projected that persona for a long time until I believed I was someone I was not. It didn’t work out for me.

Whenever we develop a false self that we project onto the world, either to protect ourselves or to accomplish some goal, we begin to hide from the world and from ourselves who we really are.

The Accommodating Self. The second way we fail to develop integrity is by repeatedly adapting ourselves to others’ unjustified expectations. In its simplest form, people around us may pressure us to adopt immoral or unfair strategies and behaviors to succeed. If we accommodate these pressures, not only do we fail to become our true selves, but we also build a life that will not last.

The Self-Centered Self. No parable is more relevant to the issue of integrity than the parable of the man who built many barns. Jesus put it like this:

Jesus told the crowd this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest.  He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain.  And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.”’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night, your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God” (Luke 12:16-21).

The man in the parable has become so focused on himself, his own desire to be wealthy and cured, that he has closed his eyes to a fundamental principle of the wise life: “teach us to number our days so that we may become wise.” The rich man did not remember his days properly, and he spent his time living a false life without considering eternity. Whenever we become self-centered and focused on our own will, desires, objectives, and plans, we gradually lose sight of what true integrity means.

Differentiation and Integrity

Until and unless we fully understand who we are, it’s hard to have integrity. A person who is not well differentiated finds it challenging to hold onto their integrity under stress. For example, if someone hasn’t properly resolved past issues, especially with their family of origin, they are more vulnerable to threats to their integrity related to family matters. This means it’s essential to do the work we’ve discussed, such as exploring the iceberg. Creating a genogram and reflecting on significant past issues help one to differentiate properly.

Scazzero puts it this way:

Differentiation refers to a person’s capacity to define his or her own life’s goals and values apart from the pressures around them. A differentiated person has the ability to think clearly and carefully, to set priorities and make decisions. Differentiation means you know how to hold onto who you are and who you are not regardless of your circumstances. Your level of differentiation is determined by how well you are able to affirm your values and goals apart from the pressures around you (separateness), while remaining close to people important to you (togetherness). Your convictions, goals, and values don’t change even under pressure. You can make healthy choices, before God, without being controlled by the approval or disapproval of others.[1]

A key part of understanding Emotionally Healthy Discipleship is the nature of true differentiation. True differentiation doesn’t mean completely rejecting or rebelling against our past or our family of origin. Instead, a genuinely differentiated person has integrated their past and family history in a way that allows them to become their True Self. Naturally, the more severe the dysfunction in the family of origin, the harder it is to integrate, and the more of the past must be rejected. This makes sense.

Ladders of Integrity

History. In Emotionally Healthy Relationships, there is an entire week focused on “Climbing the Ladder of Integrity.” [2] In Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Scazzero advances an adaptation of the Benedictine Ladder of Spiritual Growth, from which the Ladder of Integrity is taken. [3] The original goes something like this:

1. Keep the fear of the Lord before your eyes
2. Abandon self-will, seeking only the Will of God
3. Submit to the proper authorities in life
4. Endure everything, especially contradiction, without seeking escape
5. Confess your thoughts, especially your sinful ones
6. Be willing to accept menial work
7. Regard yourself as no better and perhaps worse than others
8. Act according to the rule of life you have adopted
9. Restrain your speech and embrace silence
10. Refrain from “ready laughter”
11. Speak gently, seriously, modestly, and reasonably
12. Demonstrate humility not only in heart but in your entire demeanor (nothing ostentatious).[4]

Scazzero has adapted this idea to modern life and the needs of independent Protestant churches in America. When used correctly, the Ladder of Integrity provides a practical way to develop the integrity of character that St. Benedict teaches by guiding you through a series of questions that help identify what truly matters to you, even when there may be interpersonal implications involved.

Worksheet. The worksheet asks the inquirer to answer statements grouped into three main categories based on the image’s labels:

What is going on inside me (1-6): This section focuses on self-awareness, feelings, needs, personal responsibility (“my part”), and physical reactions.

• Right now, the issue on my mind is:
• I’m anxious in talking about this because: ….
• My part in this is: …
• My need in this issue is: …t
• My feelings about this are: …
• What my reaction tells me about me is: …

What I value (7-10): This section addresses core values, what is willing/not willing to do, potential improvements to the situation, and important information to share with others.

• This issue is important to me because I value… and I violate that value when…:
• I am willing/not willing to: …
• One thing I could do to improve the situation is: …suggest setting a firm ground rule for meeting start times and perhaps implement a quick check-in at the beginning to see if everyone can commit to it.
• The most important thing I want you to know is: …

What I hope (11-12): This final section looks to the future, addressing hopes and how honest communication might benefit the relationship.

• I think my honest sharing will benefit our relationship by: …
• I hope and look forward to: …

In recent weeks, I have begun using this ladder to analyze my reactions to people, situations, and decisions. One of the remarkable results is the ability to look more deeply into one’s own motives and hidden agendas regarding decisions. If I had used this method when I was an active leader, some of the decisions I made might have been wiser,  clearer, and more lovingly presented. As Pete Scazzero puts it:

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). This captures the “Ladder of Integrity.” If we are willing to be rigorously honest with ourselves and take time to sit with our hearts—layer by layer—we will be closer to meeting our true selves and God. [5]

It goes without saying that when we understand our true selves and embrace them in the day-to-day problems of life, we build the integrity we all desire in our deepest hearts.

Copyright 2025, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved

[1] Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day: A 40-Day Journey to Deeply Change Your Relationships (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), 178-9.

[2] Peter & Geri Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Relationships: Discipleship that Deeply Changes your Relationships with Each Other Expanded Ed., (Grand Rapids, Mi: Zondervan. Harper Collins Resources, 2023), 120.

[3] Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Updated Ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), 134.

[4] Benedict, Saint, Abbot of Monte Cassino, The Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 7.

[5] Pete Scazzero on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/petescazzero/posts/the-purposes-of-a-persons-heart-are-deep-waters-but-one-who-has-insight-draws-th/861107545817856/ (March 8, 2024) downloaded November 9, 2025