This is the second week of an examination a toon o be released book, Emotionally Healthy Success: Measuring What Matters Most to Jesus by Pete Scazzero.[1] One endearing characteristic of Pete Scazzero’s writings is the winsome honesty and self-disclosure that permeate his work. He’s not afraid to admit his own failures. I remember reading The Emotionally Healthy Church, the first of his books I read, and being touched by his admission of personal and pastoral failures, some of which I shared, and his willingness to share them.[2]
I wouldn’t want to take anything away from people reading his story for themselves, but I will share just enough to show that when he was a younger pastor, he was captured by a common evangelical desire to build a growing, thriving, and successful church. At some point along the way, a series of crises forced him to face the fact that he did not have the emotional health to be the kind of leader he wanted to be. The result was the creation of what is now Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. The church of Jesus Christ is better off because Pete Scazzero was willing to look at himself and see his own failures.
The False Metrics (Scorecard) We Create for Ourselves
Pete, like many of us, sometimes found himself comparing himself to other church leaders who seemed more successful. Such comparisons often brought him down rather than lifting him up. He might think, “I’m not a strong enough leader,” worry that his church isn’t growing quickly enough, or feel discouraged because people aren’t responding as he hoped. These negative thoughts can become endless and harmful because we often carry unhealthy scripts about what success should look like—scripts based on false ideas about our ministries and lives. Here are just a few of those misleading messages: [3]
- I make too many mistakes and fail too often, violating the false metric that requires me to avoid mistakes.
- I sometimes upset people or hurt their feelings, violating the false metric that people should always respond positively to my ministry.
- I sometimes fail to meet people’s expectations, violating the false metric that one should always say yes to and meet other people’s expressed needs.
- I don’t always get things right, violating the false metric that I must be right all the time.
- Not everyone likes me or supports my ministry, violating the false metric that I should be liked and approved of by everyone.
- My decisions sometimes result in conflict, violating the false metric that requires successful leaders to avoid conflict.
- I am not always productive and thereby violate the false metric that a leader should accomplish a lot and work productively all the time.
- I have physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and other weaknesses and thereby violate the false metric that I must not be weak or needy.
- There are limits to my knowledge and experience, and I constantly fail the false metric that requires me to know more than everyone else.
- There are times when I fail to put others first and meet my own needs, violating the false metric that requires me to make my personal life secondary.
- There are times when I show anger, sadness, disappointment, and other emotions, violating the false metric that requires not to showing or expressing true feelings.
- When I look around at others in my position, I recognize that I am just not good enough.
These internal narratives, the metrics they imply, and many others we could create are misleading and often false. In some cases, they lead us to be untrue to ourselves, our real needs, and the people who rely on us. As we internalize these false ideas, we create an “internal scorecard” we use to measure our success—a scorecard that can be deeply damaging.
The Problem with False Metrics (Bad Scorecard)
The problem with misleading metrics is straightforward: neither we nor anyone we know can truly meet them. If we try, failure is almost certain. For a long time in both my careers, I held a misguided notion of success that pushed me to be someone I wasn’t—someone smarter, stronger, tougher, more ruthless, and more daring than I was created to be. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t succeed. More damaging, failure deeply ingrained those false standards into my personality, resulting in obsessive workaholism. It took many years to finally let go and move forward.
Pete Scazzero puts it this way:
The weight of living up to all these scorecards is crushing. To keep everyone satisfied, to keep approval levels high and productivity up, we push ourselves far beyond what we can humanly sustain.[4]
For a few years, our church compared itself to another congregation, a nearby mega-church that was part of a larger mega-church movement. We made our plans and set goals on the assumption that we should attempt to be like that church. We constantly fell short of our unrealistic goals. Finally, our Director of Christian Education, a wonderful person and good friend, advised senior leadership to stop imitating this other church and stop judging our success by its standard. She concluded with, “We just need to be who we are.”
It was one of the most liberating moments of my professional life. It was the first time it occurred to me that I did not always have to strive for our congregation to be bigger, better programmed, with a bigger facility and a larger budget. We could simply be who God created us to be. Most importantly, we could remain the community-centered church we had always been, without striving to become a more corporate congregation.
Social Status and False Scorecards
There was a time in America when pastors were held in high esteem. In particular, pastors of large mainline churches were highly respected members of local communities. When I was young, I was privileged to experience this phenomenon. The church my wife and I attended was prominent, and our pastor was a highly respected figure in a very large city. Unfortunately, the decline of Christian faith in America and a series of high-profile scandals have almost eliminated this phenomenon. It is rare today for a pastor to be seen as socially important.
One notable outcome of this phenomenon is that some pastors try to imitate successful leaders from the worlds of business or government, not only in how they lead but also in how they live as Christian mentors. For example, in one community where Kathy and I lived, there was a prominent pastor who never called himself a pastor. Instead, he sometimes referred to himself as a “religious businessman.” I believe this reflected a heartfelt desire to belong to a respected profession that offers social status and recognition. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with wanting to be seen as a community leader, but unquestioningly emulating the values, objectives, organizational structures, and other aspects of business and government is problematic.
When he was a young man, the German theologian and martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote a doctoral thesis in which he argued that the church was a visible social organization as well as a visible spiritual one.[5] He persuasively argued that the sacred community of the church could not be reduced to the categories applicable to other social organizations. This is a point all pastors need to internalize: As a church, we share certain characteristics with other social organizations and must be managed efficiently, just as they are. As I sometimes used to tell some of our staff, “We have to pay the light bill just like everyone else.” On the other hand, the church is a spiritual organization, and we cannot always lead it in accordance with the values of a secular society. This can be hard for some people to understand. I’ve had to explain to successful businesspeople who were elders in a local congregation that a strategy successful in a business context simply could not be used in our local congregation.
When we use metrics developed for business or other social organizations, we risk being unfaithful to Christ. In the same way, when we ultimately use the ministry of Christ to achieve for ourselves the same order of secular objectives that motivate secular leaders, we are almost certainly victims of a false metric and are measuring our ministry inadequately. This is particularly true when physical or fiscal size (members and budgets) becomes our most important metric. In the end, behind all the metrics ministries use to measure success, the fundamental question remains: “How good a job am I doing and our organization doing, in making more and better disciples for Christ?”[6] Numbers can hide the spiritual reality that nothing important is happening in a church and in the spiritual lives of its members.
The Consequences of Inadequate or False Goals
Most parents encourage their children to learn to make good decisions. We spend so much time educating and training our children and trying to model a healthy lifestyle for them because we want them to make good decisions and lead happy, meaningful lives. A life characterized by bad decisions is never a happy one. The same is true for leaders as individuals and for the organizations they lead. Bad decisions have bad consequences. A bad notion of success leads to bad decisions, personal and otherwise.
When we adopt a false metric and therefore judge ourselves, others, and the organizations we participate in in a false or inadequate way, we open the door to suffering. When a pastor or other leader embraces a false scorecard, the results harm that person, those closest to us, and the cause of Christ.
There are certain signs that we have adopted a false scorecard and are harming ourselves, including the tendency to work beyond physical, emotional, and spiritual limits, constant overwork, feelings of inadequacy because one is not accomplishing enough, and constant comparison with others. Unfortunately, I have known many pastors who experience these feelings, including myself a good bit of the time.
When we act in this way, it can influence those around us, encouraging a similar behavior. For leaders, this might mean setting a standard that pushes everyone beyond what they thought was possible. While this can sometimes lead to personal challenges, it’s important to remember that pushing ourselves too hard can also affect our relationships with loved ones—family and friends—impacting the emotional bonds we cherish most.
Finally, when we push ourselves beyond our natural limits and live alienated from our own emotional well-being, we do violence to the cause of Christ. Over and over again, Scazzero points out that the most important changes people make occur slowly. Hurry, rush, and anxiety work against the slow work God intends to do in transforming our lives and the lives of those we have been called to serve. The mission we have been called to undertake becomes distorted and diverted from God’s fundamental purpose.
I’ve had the opportunity to help turn around more than one church. One of my personal failures has been to focus on structural flaws in the organization rather than on personally discipling people. When I look back on some of my successes that have not endured, I realize the failure was not growing the people, but trying to fix problems. God primarily calls pastors to disciple people, not to fix organizational charts or personnel problems. (This does not mean that fixing structural problems is unimportant.)
Scazzero describes the phenomenon as follows:
We do violence to God’s work whenever we rush ahead to do for God what he has not asked us to do. When we act for God without listening to God, we misuse our authority, distort priorities, and carry responsibilities God never entrusted to us. This is not a new pattern. Jesus’s disciples constantly succumbed to the temptation to take charge for God.[7]
The disciples, in many ways, misunderstood Jesus’s personal and communal messianic mission to transform lives. They hoped for something better: a politically and administratively reorganized Israel with them at the head. We can fall into the same way of thinking. We can fall into the habit of believing that because our church is growing, we’re doing God’s will. We can fall into the habit of thinking that because people praise our preaching, we’re doing God’s will. We can fall into the habit of thinking that because giving is increasing over the year, we’re doing God’s will. That may be the case, but it’s not necessarily the case.
When a church and its leadership embrace a false notion of success, there can be highly visible programs, a lot of activity, plenty of volunteers, and many indicators of health, while all along, under the surface, things are not good. Scazzero describes his experience as follows:
People under my leadership grew in areas that were visible–skills, knowledge, gift development— but not in the deeper places that actually change a person. We recycled the same problems year after year: defensiveness, poor conflict management skills, emotional reactivity. Significant parts of people’s lives remained untouched.[8]
My first pastorate was in a small church in a poor community that had experienced many years of decline. It was a small church, and so I was able to get personally involved in the life of many people. In particular, there was one young leader, about forty, with whom I became friends almost immediately. We spent a lot of time together. He was in a Bible study with me. He was in an accountability group with me. We began a men’s ministry which he led, and in which I participated. Interestingly, the five years we spent together were very productive for him and for me. That Bible study we started continues to this very day, thirty-five years later. He is still a leader in the church. He’s discipled other leaders in the church since I left. I can’t say this about every church I served. Devoting time to people is the most important thing a leader can do.
Don’t Play the Success Game
The most important takeaway from this blog is that we need to avoid judging our personal or ministry success by the standards of our society or secondary organizations. In Pete Scazzero’s terms, we need to refuse to play the success game. This does not mean we become isolated, highly spiritual, and entirely different people to whom normal people cannot relate. The reverse is true. We need to become whole people with whom people can easily relate. Next week, we’re going to talk about how we go about that difficult process.
Copyright 2026, G. Christopher Scruggs, All Rights Reserved
[1] Pete Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Success: Measuring What Matters Most to Jesus (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2026. This, the last and the remaining blogs in this series are inspired by this book. I was given the opportunity to review an advance copy of the book, which I recommend to interested readers.
[2] Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Church (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2003, 2010). His other books include Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship: Moving from Shallow Christianity to Deep Transformation (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2021). For those who wish to read all of his books, see Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, updated ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017), and The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming your Inner Life will Deeply Transform your Church, Team, and World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017).
[3] Emotionally Healthy Success, 32-33. I have taken some liberty with the actual list Scazzero outlines to make it more personal to readers and to extend its meanings.
[4] Emotionally Healthy Success, 33.
[5] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Sanctorum Communio: A Theological Study of the Sociology of the Church (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 1998).
[6] “Making More and Better Disciples for Christ” was the motto of my first church. It was not a large congregation, but at some point it was widely seen as very active and productive in its area. The focus on discipleship allowed the development of leaders, some of whom are still active today.
[7] Emotionally Healthy Success, 46.
[8] Id, 48.












